Student Life

Local Community Gathers for Cheese and Wine in the Woolies Toilet Paper Aisle

By Hazel Schweinsberg @hazesch

In the midst of the toilet paper disaster that has been holding desperate Australians by the throat this month, solidarity among a local community has been found as those affected by the TP shortage gather in the supermarket to share wine and cheeses.

Anne Forbes, a particularly observant middle-aged woman, was standing in the toiletries aisle in Woolies with fellow onlookers discussing the lack of bathroom sundries and shaking their head at the general human indecency on display (or rather, not on display) when she was struck with the absolutely shocking truth of the empty shelves before her. All Aussie mums know a surface without a glass full of wine on it is not a surface worth caring about, so Anne took it upon herself to start the movement. In the dead of night, she went shopping for her goods. The following day, many were awestruck as she poured the biggest glass of chardonnay they’d ever seen and pulled out a massive assortment of cheeses. All of this took place right in the middle of the store, legs kicked up on the empty shelves.

Humans are social creatures and naturally everybody who was witness to this scene had to join in. Soon enough the entire aisle was filled to the brim with women parading around with maroon hair, teenagers that were barely old enough to drink, let alone know the difference between brie and camembert, and a handful of blokes with stiff shoulders and beer holders attached to their belts.

A few attendants are up in isolated arms about all this after they tested positive for Coronavirus following the gathering.

Featured image: DizzyRoseblade/

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