Student Survival Guide

Spiders: No say and all spray

Spiders: masters of spin and frustrating interview subjects. Photo: SIS-TREE/DeviantArt
Spiders: masters of spin and frustrating interview subjects. Photo: SIS-TREE/DeviantArt

A reluctant interviewee can be really frustrating. MATTHEW TRIPLEY explains.

The garden spider … a pest to your plants and a nuisance in general. And talk about ignorance – they certainly don’t make the best interviewees, as their input is limited merely to the webs that they spin. I discovered this recently in my attempt to interview a garden spider inside the front fence of Petersham TAFE campus, and to be honest and fair, the feedback provided by him was lacking and nil.

Last week on Thursday the 12th of March, I was testing my skills as an interviewer – and not having a human subject to practise on I decided to engage in an interview with one of the local spiders inside the campus and by the road. He was aware of my presence and I introduced myself kindly, proceeding to gather information concerning his position in the garden. It was a typical current affair that saw my subject unwilling to co-operate. Every question I delivered to him went unanswered and ignored. He seemed more concerned with spinning his web, as well as what was going on in the shrub beside the fence.

This lack of acknowledgement, however, did not go unnoticed. I made my irritation as neglected interviewer apparent and obvious to the garden spider – claiming that he’ll subsequently be Raided and that I’d Bay-Gon with him, and that he would have a red back before too much longer. As I wrapped up my failed attempt to extract information from him, I warned him that this meeting was FAR from over, that I saw through the web of deception he found so necessary to spin throughout the course of our “interview”. The sad and unfortunate experience drew me to the conclusion that spiders are all spray and no say at all.

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